Waynster

Life is an amazing thing and its only truly enhanced by the people you meet. Some people are just fleeting aquaintances, some are the people you befriend, and some are the people that make an impact on your life, even shaping your own existence. The latter are the rarer of course, but once in a while you are truly blessed by these encounters.

I met John through his brother, my dear and close friend Alan and it became immediately apparent through this meeting why I liked Alan so much as there was a lot of John in him. It was an innocent evening where we just went for a curry but I cannot remember ever meeting someone who made me laugh so much about the most daftest of things. I was a lot younger then and tales of grandkids would not have been on my top ten list of things of an evening banter, yet John had me in tears of laughter of tales of bedwetting – boy he could spin a yarn and I remember leaving the restaurant in genuine pain in my sides.

But John was a selective man and chose his friends wisely. It was a long process for him to accept you into his bosom – he was a careful man who relied on trust probably more than anyone I knew and he was incredibly selective about who he let into his life. I saw him though on and off for years before I could finally be accepted into his inner circle of aquatintanceship and then friends, and whilst some would see this as hard work, I for one was glad of this effort to become acknowledged, and once in my life was seriously blessed by his friendship.

John was the definition of cynical – he spoke so strongly of his mistrust of those in power (he had his reasons) yet talked so passionately of the things so important to him – namely his family. Of course he moaned about how much of a pain in the arse they all were but with such passion and made it so obvious how much he loved them all.  He could wax lyrical about politics, current affairs and allsorts and it was always a genuine pleasure to spy him in the pub of a night as you knew you were in for a genuinely interesting evening. With John, it was  never ever a boring night.

But John was sadly afflicted with an illness that was not his fault but that of the British Government and he was infected with something that took him away from us far too soon. He was ill for a long time and whilst always critical of those responsible, his bloody mindedness ensured he lived well beyond the life expectancy the medical people said he should. He drank, smoked, but what is more – he truly lived – and defied everyone who put his life expectancy far lower than he achieved – always the man to stick a two-fingered salute to anyone who told him different.

Yet it was this day, a year ago that he finally succumbed to what had been afflicting him and he sadly passed from this world. It was quick (which is what he always wanted) and he was with friends and doing something not only he was a genius at but something he had passion for. I think he went, if our last proper conversation was a guide, of how he wanted to leave this place – not a real burden and in a peaceful environment – sure he could have been surrounded by those he really loved but he didn’t want them to see him like that – better the memory of the man who lived, not the man who died. And that is how I shall always remember him – someone who truly lived and spent their short time on this planet and made the absolute best of it.

Today those who loved him met for a Sunday roast at O”Reillys in Amsterdam, much like he would have done on any given Sunday and just had a damn good lunch, just like he would have done. There were no real moments of sadness, but it how he I think would have wanted it  - friends together, a roast, a pint of guinness and people being around those who are special to them, and nothing could be more befitting for a memory of such a great friend that we all miss so much.

One final word – Vinnie, a dear mutual friend and I were outside having a cigarette with a few other members in attendance and I got to meet his outspoken, cocky and likeable daughter and I commented on how she was so much her fathers daughter. Julia, daughter of John asked me the same of her, and never had I meant it so much when I said she was.  And not just her but in everyone he left behind, I see him and smile. A man who truly left behind a legacy.

John, like many I miss you so much and I feel truly honoured that I knew you – my life can only be better for having known you and on this day of your passing a year ago, all I can say is thank you for blessing me with your presence and letting me in. It certainly is an emptier place without you.

RIP, my friend, and like so many I miss you so much. But above all, thank you for just being my friend.