Waynster

Hello all

As part of my impending move to the USA I need to offload a lot of stuff which I won’t be taking with me, and first to go is my DVD collection as simply they are all the wrong region for US use – yes I know I could chip a player, but I kind of want to start again and need to raise all the funds I can.

So I am offering up the lot for sale – there is a full list here – drop me a line if you see anything you fancy – waynster at gmail or via facebook or phone

I need every penny I can so all bids are welcome!

I guess some would argue that you either make your own luck, or that you have luck thrust upon you, whether that be good or bad. Personally, the jury is still out on that one – I’ve always tried to chase things to improve my life, career and so on and for the most it has done me well, but the last few years I seem to  have lucked out on one thing or another and basically I got stuck in a nasty rut with no apparent way out of it.  And when life tends to get like that for me –  almost pointless I guess, it takes some hefty decisions and in this case, some good luck for a change to see a way out.

I’ve lived in Amsterdam for nearly 13 years now and while for the most it has been wonderful to me, it has also of late started to bring me down a lot – an incessant stream of bills, a job which whilst with a good company and good colleagues just never fulfilled my potential and an overwhelming feeling that at 41 years old, there are certain personal achievements I should have reached.  The only thing really keeping me here to be honest is my friends – the sort of wonderful people the likes of which I don’t think I could meet anywhere else. For me, they made Amsterdam and all the happy  memories I have of this city involve them.

But life is a funny thing – one minute you are ambling through it without much purpose or ambition, then all of a sudden it smacks you in the face with opportunities that are too good to ignore, and right when I was stuck in that rut 2 very magical things happened more or less at the same time that now draw me to a new and exciting place – New York City. I’ve been offered a transfer to a position of much more responsibility, money and a great career step as well with my current employers which is too good an opportunity to ignore, and so it is with some regret that I have to tell you all I am leaving Amsterdam for a new life in the USA.

It’s not 100% confirmed as yet but it is all being finalised now – the job I have been told is mine but  there are still some i’s to dot and t’s to cross before it is absolutely confirmed and I won’t be leaving until I am  sure that everything is set, but the timescale looks like a matter of weeks – maybe even as soon as next month I could be relocating there, but again I will not be going until everything is properly sorted – too old to be jumping from frying pans to fires and all that.

Obviously before I go I will do my best to see everyone as there are too many friends here that mean too much to me to just up and leave without saying farewell to but I’ll keep you posted and try and arrange a bit of a do before I head off.

Also, before I go as the majority of my stuff won’t be any good in the US I’ll be looking at offloading all my gear – TV, PS3, my huge DVD collection, computer gear, camera gear and what-not – whilst I would love to give it away, I really do need every cent I can as when I get there I will have to furnish my new apartment so if anyone is interested in buying anything let me know and I’ll tell you what I’ve got that can go. I’ll be leaving this city pretty much penniless so if I can offload some stuff and take a few bucks with me that would be wonderful.

So that’s pretty much it really – I’ll be sorry to leave but life sometimes deals you hands that you have to play else spend the rest of your life regretting – This is a superb chance for my career and I can’t ignore that, an opportunity for a clear out and a new start in a thrilling city, and that second reason? Let’s just say she’s the most wonderful thing to happen to me in a very long time and she’s waiting for me there – a very beautiful, thoughtful and just downright incredible young lady and we hope to try and build a relationship together .So when life offers you everything at once, you’d be stupid to turn it down, right?

So wish me luck, and I would also like to say to you all thank you so much for the last dozen or so years – a major part of my life. It’s not goodbye, just farewell for a while, but I hope to say it to you all in person before I leave.

I’ve been feeling unfit and unwell for ages – pains in places you don’t want pains, feeling sick and tired of being sick and tired and basically and knowing that at 41 years old, I can’t go on living the way I do.  The changes are the obvious – knock the fags on the head, cut down the boozing, start eating better and get fit. All sounds like a nightmare’s nightmare.

Fags I can do well without – I don’t enjoy smoking and often feel unwell after smoking one, plus lately I have been smoking too much – fag first thing in the morning, fag between buses when going or returning from work (three buses each way) – just not good at all. Booze, well I have already cut down the going out simply to save money what with all the debts from last year. Eating better is kind of a fad thing with me, mainly due to appetite (mainly due to the smoking) but the getting fit is the one that fills me with dread, and I will tell you why.

I despise gymnasiums seeing them no more as torture chambers – sure the idea of eyeing up lots of very firm and fit young ladies in leotards sounds wonderful, but going in as a slightly overweight, horrendously unfit and with the sporting ability of your average garden shed is hardly likely to win favour with the fairer sex. Plus with all the male contenders it will just be like being back at school again and I imagine like those perennial cartoons of the wimp having sand kicked in his face on the beach. No. Thank. You.

So I could go out and jog, but again that’s something of a chore and after a day at work the last thing I want to do is go running – trouble is after a few clicks if you get bored, you are stuffed and still have to run home. Again, apathy rules this one out, and taking up some competitive active sport again thanks to the shed syndrome fills me with dread. But there is a perfectly good answer, one I did before and one that not only ticks all the boxes but is the perfect solution to the problem –  Cycling

You see the thing is here in Holland you could not want a better place to ride – not only is there a fantastic infrastructure of cycling paths but the government even have schemes to get you a new bike for next to nothing, so through this very scheme last week I picked up my €700 27 speed cross bike. I had ordered it the week before with paperwork handled by my employer, and a couple of days earlier in preparation used the night shift to read the Allen Carr easyway method of stopping smoking, which I promptly did on Tuesday of last week (if you have not used this book I could not recommend it high enough) and have to date not wanted a smoke nor indeed indulged even when surrounded by smokers. Then Thursday I get the message the bike is ready and Thursday night rode it for the first time to work, somewhat full of trepidation having not ridden a bicycle for a couple of years and especially not of any distance. The program had started.

It’s now just over a week later and I have cycled to and from work for every shift and have cycled approximately 200 kilometres in that time (the odometer reads a bit less but I have forgotten to switch the thing on every now and again). I have forgotten how much I truly enjoy riding a bike and it cuts out so much boredom – no waiting around for public transport, I can lie in a bit longer of a morning and get to work invigorated. My general mental health has much improved and even with current problems at home I have been feeling generally much happier – the combination with giving up the smokes and the improved feeling of fitness (although still early days) really has made a huge difference. Sleeping is still a bit hit and miss – some days I can sleep for hours, others its a bit intermittent but that will pass (I put that down to the nicotine withdrawal although I have no real feelings of this any more whilst awake)

But one of the nicest things? Finishing a night shift like this morning, discovering a lovely route home on a glorious spring morning  and getting home in around 40 minutes feeling truly alive, chuffed at having another proper workout and knowing that there will be lots more days like this for cycling and having all this fun is actually good for me.  The cheeky 9am beer before bed is just the icing on a perfect end to the start of everyone else’s day.

Life is an amazing thing and its only truly enhanced by the people you meet. Some people are just fleeting aquaintances, some are the people you befriend, and some are the people that make an impact on your life, even shaping your own existence. The latter are the rarer of course, but once in a while you are truly blessed by these encounters.

I met John through his brother, my dear and close friend Alan and it became immediately apparent through this meeting why I liked Alan so much as there was a lot of John in him. It was an innocent evening where we just went for a curry but I cannot remember ever meeting someone who made me laugh so much about the most daftest of things. I was a lot younger then and tales of grandkids would not have been on my top ten list of things of an evening banter, yet John had me in tears of laughter of tales of bedwetting – boy he could spin a yarn and I remember leaving the restaurant in genuine pain in my sides.

But John was a selective man and chose his friends wisely. It was a long process for him to accept you into his bosom – he was a careful man who relied on trust probably more than anyone I knew and he was incredibly selective about who he let into his life. I saw him though on and off for years before I could finally be accepted into his inner circle of aquatintanceship and then friends, and whilst some would see this as hard work, I for one was glad of this effort to become acknowledged, and once in my life was seriously blessed by his friendship.

John was the definition of cynical – he spoke so strongly of his mistrust of those in power (he had his reasons) yet talked so passionately of the things so important to him – namely his family. Of course he moaned about how much of a pain in the arse they all were but with such passion and made it so obvious how much he loved them all.  He could wax lyrical about politics, current affairs and allsorts and it was always a genuine pleasure to spy him in the pub of a night as you knew you were in for a genuinely interesting evening. With John, it was  never ever a boring night.

But John was sadly afflicted with an illness that was not his fault but that of the British Government and he was infected with something that took him away from us far too soon. He was ill for a long time and whilst always critical of those responsible, his bloody mindedness ensured he lived well beyond the life expectancy the medical people said he should. He drank, smoked, but what is more – he truly lived – and defied everyone who put his life expectancy far lower than he achieved – always the man to stick a two-fingered salute to anyone who told him different.

Yet it was this day, a year ago that he finally succumbed to what had been afflicting him and he sadly passed from this world. It was quick (which is what he always wanted) and he was with friends and doing something not only he was a genius at but something he had passion for. I think he went, if our last proper conversation was a guide, of how he wanted to leave this place – not a real burden and in a peaceful environment – sure he could have been surrounded by those he really loved but he didn’t want them to see him like that – better the memory of the man who lived, not the man who died. And that is how I shall always remember him – someone who truly lived and spent their short time on this planet and made the absolute best of it.

Today those who loved him met for a Sunday roast at O”Reillys in Amsterdam, much like he would have done on any given Sunday and just had a damn good lunch, just like he would have done. There were no real moments of sadness, but it how he I think would have wanted it  - friends together, a roast, a pint of guinness and people being around those who are special to them, and nothing could be more befitting for a memory of such a great friend that we all miss so much.

One final word – Vinnie, a dear mutual friend and I were outside having a cigarette with a few other members in attendance and I got to meet his outspoken, cocky and likeable daughter and I commented on how she was so much her fathers daughter. Julia, daughter of John asked me the same of her, and never had I meant it so much when I said she was.  And not just her but in everyone he left behind, I see him and smile. A man who truly left behind a legacy.

John, like many I miss you so much and I feel truly honoured that I knew you – my life can only be better for having known you and on this day of your passing a year ago, all I can say is thank you for blessing me with your presence and letting me in. It certainly is an emptier place without you.

RIP, my friend, and like so many I miss you so much. But above all, thank you for just being my friend.